A Little Perspective
A horrible, horrible thing happened to me this morning. I stayed the night at my girlfriend's last night, and woke up realizing that I had to be to work in an hour, and I badly needed a shave after taking the weekend off. Normally I don't like to leave the house without a fresh one, let alone go to work, but occasionally I do get lazy. It's not like I work for a corportation with a dress-code either, so I can typically get away with it.
Anyway, I had no equipment at the girlfriend's as I normally prepare in advance for these scenarios by putting in a good session in front of the mirror the night before, knowing damn well that my 12-hour straight-razor wetshave looks fresher than my co-workers' attempts at depilation. Anyway, I must have been in a hurry last night (can't be late for a sushi date), because this is the first time I've had to deal with this nightmare decision: a) go to work with a full on two-day Michael Vartan, or b) use the girlfriend's razor. Her razor is a cheap plastic disposable that's been legally dead for about three weeks now. The soap could have been worse (Shave My Face… at least it's got glycerin), which was just enough to push me off the fence into bad shaveland, territory upon which I had not tread in almost a year.
And tread deeply I did. And holy shit did it hurt. I raked that think all over my prize-winning mug in a vain effort to whack some of that brush down. Just the feeling of weghtlessness alone told me that this thing didn't have the foggiest clue of what it was supposed to be. It's like it was denied eight seconds of oxygen while in the womb and popped out looking like a thalydimide baby. I finally did cut that lawn down, but I paid dearly.
The one thing I had forgotten about these things is just how much poor technique they let you get away with. It really made me wonder just how anybody manages to cut themselves with these things. That's when I remembered one of the forgotten reasons why I do this. Because it requires some brainpower. The earlier in the day you start actually using your brain, the better off you are. And the more time you spend simply going through the motions, the less time you spend evolving.
A Little Perspective
Consarnit they've done it again. Just when you think Gillette is out of ideas, just when you think they've reached the zenith of innovation in men's grooming technology, they hit us in the solar plexus while we're still catching our collective breath from their last contribution to sharp things. Rumor has it that the Gillette Fusion Power Phantom is not far away, and its latest innovation is going to melt your face. You ready for this? It's black.
Seems Gillette has finally gotten enough flack for the Fusion, not because nobody really needs 5 blades and a power source, but because the blue and orange color scheme is a little… feminine. These colors may fine for a professional ball player in Queens, but it doesn't project that image of manliness that Gillette's trying to project. Unless they're trying for the metro market, but that really only makes sense if you're using this thing to shave off your testicles.
So black it is. Frankly I think it was a good move, but it really shows Gillette's greed. When King Camp Gillette introduced the idea of disposable razor blades, he was really introducing the concept of the loss leader… selling the razor at a loss, knowing that the real profit was in the blades. Genious really. Buy razor once, replace blades forever. But now Gillette is trying to have its cake and it too. Maybe they designed the first go around, the Fusion Flaming, that way intentionally, getting people to snatch them up, maybe a little disappointed in the color, but snatching them up anyway. So now they're black. They're still ten bucks worth of cheap plastic, and a new "line" means men everywhere are going to be buying these too. Shame on us, really, because we're supporting this obscene behavior. We proved that with the Mach 3. "Hold the phone, it's a slightly different color and called the Nitro?! This I've gotta have!"
It’s Black
Contrary to what many guys out there think, two day's worth of growth does not make you look sporty. It makes you look sloppy. The in-between stage of any two looks almost never works, including facial hair. Same principle for growing out your scalp's mane. Those few months between short and long are just begging for a barber's attention, and you always have to explain to people that you've decided to grow your hair out. The only time I ever consistently wore a hat was during such a time.
Granted, some guys can pull this look off, but until you change your name to Tom Brady you should probably just do the socially acceptable thing (especially if you have one of those job things) and shave. If you need further convincing just watch that video again. See how happy he looks one second, then utterly destroyed the next? Yeah, that's gotta suck.
If only he would've used a Bic disposable before that hot date.
Another Reason to Shave
I've talked a few times about Dovo's Shavette, the training wheels of straight razors, and I feel like it deserves its own article.
It took me a while to finally order one as I just didn't see the point, but now I'm absolutelty in love with the thing. The reason I got it in the first place was because after several months of using a real straight with uneven results (most likely the result of using an uneven blade… caveat emptor when buying thin pieces of metal older than you are), I started to get the sneaking suspicion that I needed to buy either: a hone, a new razor, or the shavette. As usual, I went the cheap route and it finally paid off.
You see, I never really knew just how sharp a straight razor was supposed to be. Now I know. I popped in the pre-bent, almost-snapped-in-half blade that was supplied with the device and away I went. First try -> closest shave ever. I'm not kidding, it was that good. Of course I'd been practicing my technique with semi-dull cut throats so I was able to get a great shave with a sharp blade, but damn.
It's pretty easy to set up. It comes with a red holder to accomodate half of a standard double-edge blade. Also available are two other holders that accept a longer version of a DE blade, and one that takes a single-edge blade. I've never bothered with these.
Just snap a blade in half. These things are flimsy and are connected only at the ends, so just fold one in half a few times until it snaps, or take a pair of kitchen shears to it. You don't have to pay extra for the pre-perforated blades and shipping. Just take those $.30 blades and cut them in half yourself. It's not hard or dangerous, assuming you have a steady enough hand. If you don't, stop what you're doing immediately as you'll surely have other problems the first time you touch down with a straight razor.
Now that you have a neatly snapped-in-half blade, fit it into the holder, which has notches to hold the blade in place so there's no guess work. Fold the holder back up and slide into the shavette and you're good to go.
What I don't like: It's less expensive than investing in a legitimate, high quality carbon-steel straight razor, but it's still a $33 conveyance for holding half a DE blade.
The name bothers me. I'm being vain and petty, and I don't care. Shavette just sounds so feminine. I despise juvenile diminuitives, but I'd rather this thing be called Shavey Junior or Li'l Scrapey instead. Straight razors are about the manliest thing around, but "shavette" makes me want to hand this thing to my girlfriend.
Also, the construction leaves a little to be desired. I don't expect it to fall apart, but there's so little there that it's a tad light. What I love about safety razors and real cut throats are the weight, allowing the business end of the razor to do the work. Still, with a light touch the shavette does its job admirably. It just feels a little Mattel.
Reservations aside, I think it's worth it to take the hone and strop out of the equation, making it a great learning tool for the novice wetshaver. Experienced users may want one for travel. Overall, I like it a lot and highly recommend it. You can buy one here.
Dovo Shavette Review
My Dovo Shavette Review went over pretty well, so I thought I'd start writing about the wetshaving products I've really liked. Today… Colonel Conk.
I found the Colonel pretty early in my wetshaving kick, mostly because his stuff is inexpensive. As I pleasantly found out, this is not a reflection in quality.
The products are outstanding. The soaps smell great, and are full of super-looby-glycerin-goodness, and of course dirt cheap – $3.50 for a 3.5 oz cake. If you're not familiar with shaving with cake soap, believe me that these will last forever. I got one of each scent (amber, almond, bay rum, and key lime) about a year ago, and all four look just about brand-new.
My $25 brush is from Colonel Conk as well, and it's a perfect entry-level badger brush. Nothing spectacular, but a great starter brush. It's the one I settled on after trying to sneak a couple of cheap boar-bristle brushes by my face's quality assurance tests.
So far, I don't have a single bad thing to say about Colonel Conk, save for their website. At this point in the development of the internet, it's a little off-putting to have to write down catalog numbers and enter them into an online order form rather than clicking an "add to cart" button. Combine that with the overall aesthetics of the site, and you'd be forgiven for thinking that the site has been all but abandoned. I was expecting my order to show up in 6-8 weeks, à la the time-frame for direct response mail-order from twenty years ago. I got my stuff in a week and I was happy.
If you're new to wetshaving and you're looking for a good, cheap, jumping off point, I highly recommend Col Conk’s wetshaving gear.